Seasons

I have yet to write about Hannah and her birthday. She has a post in her drafts and I love her sweet words so I think I will allow her to share the day.

We did celebrate in a special way and hoped to encourage her in this season of her life. So many people look at these years as tumultuous, full of strife and contention. I certainly viewed them this way when I was 14.

Of course the culture of being a "teenager" has not changed. Only the way I view the "culture".

Because sin does not play favorites except to favor the hearts of men, then we don't have to worry that our teenagers will fall victim to the pressure. Or at least we needn't worry more than we have since they were born. The pressure to be sinful has been present in their lives since the day they drew their first breath.

There. The groundwork has been laid for a much needed reminder. Because we exist to give glory to God we will find ourselves in seasons of want and the supply will not be given. Because it is during those seasons that our deficit becomes His resting place.

Our fleshly desire is to fill up that void ... especially if the desire is pleasant and justifiable. The problem begins when we compromise in order to soothe the ache.

Hannah is resting in a very quiet and solitary season. We have spent many nights seeking God and His provision for Godly friendship in her life.

He answers with grace alone.

Because she refuses to compromise, God is glorified.
Because she refuses to compromise, she suffers for His glory.

To be clear, she has many companions and her days are full of joy and laughter. What her heart desires is a friend who shares her convictions as well as her age and zip code ;) God has been more than gracious to give her contentment in her present circumstances.

Just because the ache is still present does not mean that contentment cannot coexist.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

-Philippians 4: 12-13

It is both a burden and a blessing to wait with her as God prepares her heart for friendship that is more than pleasantries. In the meantime I relish the opportunity to stand in the gap.

Happy Birthday Hannah! (again already?)

Apparently, while I have been busy trying to finish one measly post and spin the plates of life, my daughter has had the audacity to turn 14.

The nerve.

It has also become apparent that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

So in an effort to be a good sport, today we will celebrate ...

A celebration of 14 years of motherhood (me! Can you believe it! 14 years!).

A celebration of Hannah's 14 years of life, where she has grown into a precious young lady that has shown a genuine love for God and His Word. She has also grown into a size 8 1/2 shoe and can consume six donuts and/or an entire pizza at one sitting.

Enjoy your days of that mock-speed metabolism, sister. They are fleeting.

We have a special evening planned for Hannah that I will write about this weekend (it's a surprise!). Samuel was pretty sure that if the surprise did not include inflatable jump houses, it would be a real flop.

We'll see what Hannah says ;)

I started this journey of motherhood with a great deal of joy but an even greater level of fear. At each crossroads I have been graciously met by the Lord and given such an abundant provision of wisdom to make the right choices as her mother.

Often, I have neglected that provision and opted for my very own foolproof and much easier method of self-sufficiency ... AKA: I royally messed up.

And even then, I was met with another heaping dose of grace. If there is anything that 14 years has given me, it is the precious hindsight that comes with making daily history (this too shall pass) and also, the necessary reminder that I need a Savior. Being brought to my knees and lifting empty hands before God in desperation over my own sin and inadequacies as her momma

... Well, I can't think of a better reason to celebrate.

Happy Birthday Big Girl. I thought being made a mother 14 years ago was the greatest thing about your birth. Holding you as a new creation in our lives and holding our breath in awe of His workmanship still marks my memory in a fresh and vivid way.

But God was creating new life in more than one way. We have so many reasons to be grateful. I will always count your birth as the beginning of mine.

Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless
one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." -John 3:3

Raising Arrows

"The training we're to do is not simply academic, although it certainly includes sound scholarship. We are also commanded to prepare each child to walk as a faithful Christian in all areas of life.

An arrow has two ends. On one end is the arrowhead. We want sharp arrows, academically speaking. But on the other end of the arrow, we find a delicate guidance system; fletching made of feathers, to be exact. We want our arrows to travel toward their target without deviation. This corresponds to the development of moral character.

A proper education will work on both ends of the arrow (i.e. both ends of the child) at the same time. Although scholarship is obviously important, a sharp arrow is worthless without proper direction. And a blunt arrow, even if it hits its target, will have very little effect."

Gregg Harris- The Christian Homeschool

Inward Cleanliness

By the world's standards, my children are well-behaved. They are usually well-mannered and practice adequate levels of self-control and respect...well at least the older ones do ;)

Still. They challenge me in many ways as a mother and we had have our fair share of battles regarding will, respect, obedience, selfishness, diligence, pride....You get the drift?

These are matters of the heart. More often than not, the struggle part has everything to do with my own sin of pride and sense of entitlement.

Because I am "The Mutha".

The problem with this is that I am failing on a daily basis. It is not easy to balance on the pedestal when I lose my temper and pop off for the 87th time with the infamous one-liner...

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Clearly, I am falling short and missing the mark. The truth of God's Word says that we are unworthy and unrighteous.

We have all become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.
We all fade like a leaf,
and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.

Isaiah 64:6

So it is not who I am but rather who He is that warrants respect. It is not me or even the role of mother that requires obedience but it is God and his Word.

Having children should produce humility. I polish and shine so that their appearance will reflect the "goodness" of my mothering. The truth is, it is a reflection of the sinful pride in my heart.

They are the outside of my cup (Matthew 23:25-16).

From Tabletalk:

Repeated washings should remind the washer of his perpetual dirtiness and help him long for a clean heart.

God uses my sons and daughters as a reminder that He is in the business of clean hearts. My efforts for good behavior will be in vain if my first motive is not purity of the heart....for us all.

"The children of God ought to desire to be pure rather than to appear so."
-John Calvin

Just so you know...

This is baby oil.

This is baby shampoo.

You should not use the baby oil in place of the baby shampoo.

FYI.

While I am assuming that we (collectively....as all mothers in the universe) know this fact, apparently there is a five-year old boy who did not.

And since we have portraits scheduled for the CRACK OF DAWN in the sunshiny morning time around here and my son looks like he is oiled up for a round of the WWF, I thought it might bear mentioning JUST IN CASE there might be someone who thought it wise to use AN ENTIRE BOTTLE of baby oil on THEIR HEAD!!!!!!!!!

Oh.

And just so you know.

Four washings will not remove said oil.

I will return with photographs of my family, including my glistening son, (aka: Slick & Slippery) and hopefully post about curriculum in the very near future.

Deliberate Parenting

Cell phones. The great rite of passage for the teenager. (sarcastic scoff)

It has taken the place of the phone in their room (a big fat deal when I was growing up). Once a child reaches middle school, a cell phone is; argued from the child's perspective, a necessity.

Since my daughter did spend a year in public middle school, I know that there is a large percentage of kids with cell phones. I had my finger on the pulse of the throbbing 6th grade trends.

Cell phones, mascara, and boyfriends. In that order.

The argument discussion came about often (too often) and ended with my same old adage...."you will have a cell phone when you need a cell phone and when we feel like you are ready for a cell phone."

As far as the other trends, she wears clear mascara and boyfriends are.....friends who are boys. Read my posts about purity for more insight there :)

I said then.....and I still say, that it is not a necessity but rather the gateway drug for the technology addiction that grips not only children, but adults as well. I see people of all ages talking on their cell phones at the most inappropriate times and HELP ME with the worst "inside voice" I've ever heard!

The same person who you reminded to brush their teeth, tuck in their shirt, and shut the car door is now intrusted with a device that opens up their world to anybody, anywhere, anytime.

These same kids have spent a great majority of their lives without phones and managed at dance class or soccer practice just fine. I could stand to be corrected, but I believe that most public places still allow you to use their phones for local calls.

I mean just last week, I was talking to Jenn and lost my cell phone in Target somewhere around the Diet Cokes. After listening to Matthew West sing his heart out faintly from aisle 7, I was able to track that sucker down.

But not before the store offered to let me use....THEIR PHONE to try and call it.

See, people? There are options.

Modern advances have their place but if adults don't know what "that place" is, how can we expect children to? Aren't we placing a huge burden on them to make adult decisions before they are ready? Doesn't this mimic so many other culture induced behaviors where kids are encouraged to act like adults?

Insert video of ballroom-dancing children doing the samba.

Hannah has girls that play on her field hockey team who keep their phones with them at all times. They are warned by coaches to put them away, but they are busy texting their boyfriends and are shackled to them for fear of missing out on important news. All the while their moms are sitting in their mini-vans talking on their phones. Oblivious. To the world.

My daughter expresses her frustration when I pick her up.

"Why don't they want to play field hockey? What are they here for anyway? Do they know they look like raccoons with all that make-up on?"

I hear ya sister. Glad you decided to join me on my bandwagon.

Anyone can contact your child through the cell phone....at any time.....sharing any vulgar, crude, inappropriate pertinent information they please. I am always perplexed at the ease in which most parents make the decision to hand a phone over to their kid.

Do me this favor. If you agree, then vigorously nod your head and go about your day. If you disagree, then please read this article.

Read God's Word. Humbly ask Him for grace, wisdom, guidance, and strength. Think.

Then parent.

Do Hard Things

Alex & Brett Harris at the Rebelution are holding a conference called The Rebelution Tour. If you are not familiar with these boys, you should be. Their family legacy is one that speaks volumes about the blessings of radical obedience that comes with surrendering to the Word of God. They are twins in a family of 7 children, home schooled, brilliant, articulate, and completely sold-out to Jesus Christ. You can read their bio's on their blog, The Rebelution, which is a..."teenage rebellion against the low expectations of an ungodly culture." Both their brother (Josh Harris) & their father (Gregg Harris) have authored numerous books and spoke before thousands but these brothers are embarking on their own crusade....and it has the glory of God all over it.

That makes me want to squeeze their necks really hard (in a good way) and shout a very loud amen. Do you understand what kind of minority these boys represent?

The four cities listed on the blog are pretty well spread out but it would still require some effort to make the travel accommodations. I believe it to be so entirely worth it.

My oldest is only 12, so we will hold off another year but I am following this conference and praying that God use these young men to speak truth and conviction over the lives of so many young girls and boys.

The lies that our children have come to believe about what their teen years are all about are an abomination. The lazy apathy of parents has been the most powerful influence on their sons & daughters. The idea that *real* responsibility & expectations should be lowered because well.... because they are "just" teenagers. That is the sad reality that is resulting in a culture of self-centered, confused, and biblically ignorant young people.

There are words spoken in elementary school that are permitted and 20 years ago they where not permitted. Why are they permitted now? Lowered expectations.

There are clothes worn to church that are not allowed to be worn in school, like tight-fitting cami tops and strapless halters. They are blatantly inappropriate and obvious stumbling blocks for all ages of men. Why is that permitted in church? Lowered expectations.

Parents are driving their 10-year olds to dances and dates and they allow their 14 & 15 year olds to show affection to their boyfriends & girlfriends in front of them. Do you remember when you would never think of kissing your boyfriend in front of your dad? Why is this now okay? Lowered expectations.

Chores, manners, family responsibility, accountability, respect.....These expectations are so low they hardly exist in many families. The truth is that without the Word as the complete beginning and end of your parenting charge we will always fall short in the area of expectations. Remembering that the standard is Christ and we should never expect less than what gives honor and glory to Him. It truly is that simple. (more simply said than done)

It is the total and complete responsibility for moms & dads to rise to the occasion of real biblical parenting. Not school....Not church. NOT church. What a misconception it is to drop your children with their youth group and assume that the ministry will parent to the standard that God has called *only* the parents to. Your youth minister will not be held accountable for the influence in your child's life. He cannot be the primary influence in the teaching & application of God's word. Parents should not assume that a mediocre influence with a mediocre amount of time to result in anything less than mediocre standards. To ensure the best case scenario for the end result that He desires, should we (parents) not be in more control of the environment in which those results are born and bred? Again....easier said than done.

But as the boys at the Rebelution say, we should Do Hard Things. It is so much easier to compromise in the areas that require so much of us physically....emotionally.... and spiritually.

Every decision in regard to my children should result in serious deliberation. I can honestly say that there are situations that have been placed before me and I failed miserably in seeking the wisdom of the Lord and trusted traditions, culture, or my gut. I have been wrong on every occasion when I used those standards rather than His.

I am prayerful and oh-so-grateful that God has revealed His purpose to me as a parent. Although I am fallen and sinful and at times completely spent over the dilemma of "doing it right", I have such a blessed hope in His word. That never-ending grace sustains me and will continue to do so as we continue forward on this amazing journey as their mother & father.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12