Almost felt like Fall today ...

We had the hottest summer on record here in Virginia and have only had a sprinkling of mild days the entire month of September. Today was rainy and the temperature was pleasant. The leaves seem to have made up their mind and have started the process of changing.

It was the perfect day for the boys to put on their boots and head outside. I am almost certain Benjamin tried to eat something that was covered in mud. Either way they both had a glorious time ;) So much so, that we didn't even pick up with lessons in the afternoon for Samuel.

School is going well

School is going good

School is going okay

School is going.

Honestly, all added up, we have more above average days than not. It's the moments that don't always deserve the honorable mention.

The running late, overwhelmed, baby screaming, toddler screaming, momma screaming, no dinner cooked, laundry heap, Algebra II makes me twitch, scary car smell (like is something dead in here?), no make-up, NO 6+6 DOES NOT EQUAL 66, are you serious?, you gotta be kidding me!, I'm not gonna tell you again!, Help me Jesus ... moments.

Moments.

I cannot ever recall being more tired in my entire life and newborn babies can't touch this kind of tired. At least then the entire world gives you a reprieve ;) When you homeschool, the entire world gives you the "I told you so" and besides I can't act like this whole shindig is impossible or else they'll be right!

But they are right ... sometimes.

It really is impossible.

And God is all about impossible. You know He has done more miraculous things than help a homeschool mom get through her day ;)

But there are days when it does seem to be a supernatural occurrence when we all make it through the day alive. I started homeschooling three years ago and if I have learned anything at all in that time, it is that this whole process has little to do with academics.

Like I just told Samuel today during our little Wigwam making party that it was all about attitude not about the craft.

I may have said it more like, "WE CAN MAKE 72 OF THESE BLASTED WIGWAMS OR WE CAN FINISH THIS ONE. EITHER WAY, YOU WILL DO IT WITH A GOOD ATTITUDE BECAUSE MAKING WIGWAMS IS FUN! YOU GOT IT?"

See what I mean?

So after the Battle at Little Wigwam we booted up and went outside. All kinds of miraculous things happen when my boys go outside and they are able to "release their wiggles".

It's almost supernatural ;)

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day Christopher. Our children are blessed beyond measure to call you Daddy and this life is truly a gracious restoration from the Lord. I love you.

"I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten ..." Joel 2:25

The Daily Reception ... Daddy's Home!

Happy Birthday Emma!

Yesterday was Emma's 12th birthday and we celebrated with a wonderful dinner at a nice restaurant where Benjamin did NOT convulse and holler from his high chair or slam his face down on the table and cause his mouth to bleed.

Sweet Victory.

We are not the family who leaves a child behind in order to have a "pleasant" family dinner. We figure we will get to "pleasant" much quicker in our life if we can teach the standard of behavior sooner rather than later.

With that said, I am sure there are countless waitstaff out there who are sick and tired of picking of remains of what looks like a Ritz Cracker atom bomb, but hey! We tip well ;)

And as far as those of you who want an evening out with peace and quiet? My advice to you is eat after 7:00 p.m. AND choose a restaurant whose menu does not serve chicken strips.

You won't find us there ;)

The plan was a yummy dinner followed by the traditional Cold Stone Creamery cake with presents at home. By the time we left dinner and a little shopping it was late so we postponed the rest of the festivities until today.

More time to celebrate!

Steak Before

Steak After

Surprise Dessert :)

More Cake Today!

Emma was born when Hannah had just had her second birthday and so their little lives began to weave together very early on. It has been a beautiful journey to watch these two girls, raised in the same home with the same parents, turn out so differently. They are opposites in so many ways ... Emma with her jet-black hair has even raised the tactless question (from a stranger, no less) "Same Daddy?"

To which I respond with a shoulder shrug, "Got me."

Funny thing is, she is the spitting image of her daddy and my ever present go-to girl. Always ready to serve, I shudder to think of the day she actually tires of loading the dishwasher ... because she actually LIKES it for now.

She is the stand-in momma for every child under three and has done a superb job of spoiling Benjamin rotten. My witty girl who easily makes friends has begun her journey into young womanhood. Already she weighs decisions with consequences and against my own judgment (which is marred) has declined situations where temptation abounds. Again, God's provision over my children is evident in their young lives. His work of perfecting their hearts is by far the greatest blessing that parenthood brings.

Oh, how I love having girls! I love having boys, too! I cannot express the blessing that comes with both. But there was a deep void ... so vast and wide, the day that my mother left this earth, and I was certain that it would stay hollow and carved out until I met Jesus face to face.

How wrong I was. God has used these daughters of mine with their unique differences to be such a healing salve to my wounds.

They tell me when my hairdo is funky or if my outfit is nerdy.

"Um. Mom? Um. Are you for real going to wear that?"

It is a guarantee that I will laugh hard and loud at something that they do or say. Their impersonations of Dad are spot-on!

Their eyes fill with tears at even a hint of sadness from me ... something I remember vividly about seeing my own mother grieve. It is a bittersweet bond to have someone share in your brokenness, especially when they are your children.

Happy Birthday Little E, Bulldog, & Pickle (or the child with the most nicknames!) Your birthday marked the day our little home became a house of girls. What a sweet and joyful spirit you have blessed this family with.

We love you so much.

Happy Birthday

In the rare moments of solitude, when I hold my boys close, I love to close my eyes and marvel at the ways that God will someday grow them into men.

I can't help but think that as Chris' mother held her firstborn son, she had to prayerfully wonder those same things ...

Her fingers laced through the same tiny curled-up fists that would someday grow big and strong. They are now the calloused hands of laborious work that have tirelessly provided for his family.

As newborn babies often do, I am sure that his eyes would search for hers and and upon them meeting, find such comfort. With those same eyes, he has searched for discernment in God's Word and found the truths that have guided him as a husband and father who seeks to please the Lord.

Chris, on your birthday I am reminded that these last 39 years were mapped out strategically by the hand of God and I am in awe. Even before their precious lives began, he fashioned our young sons to someday grow into strong men who love the Lord with all their hearts.

While that truth is still beyond my realm of understanding it is a reassuring promise to look at my husband and their father and know that it is a promise to be claimed.

Happy Birthday Chris. You provide our family with the daily promise of laughter and love and the security of leadership from a man who loves Jesus.

I am grateful for the prayers of your mother who loved her boy so much and loved Jesus even more.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

***Chris' actual birthday was March 12th, but this post was lost in my drafts and forgotten during the notorious, "Stomach Virus of 2009".

All Gussied Up!

Thank ya'll so much for your sweet words about my new blog! I have been feverishly trying to work out some glitches with Jennisa from Once Upon a Blog and I think it's finally behaving!

She was so sweet and patient with me throughout the whole ALL YOUR LINKS ARE BRIGHT BLUE AND PURPLE ordeal.

So patient.

Plus there was this whole minor detail of how I COULD NOT SEE my header. Of course everyone else was quick to tell me that they could see it fine.

That was kind of rubbing it in. It was just kind of nanny-nanny-boo-boo, ya'll.

Anyway, I found out more than I ever wanted to know about browsers and defaults and hootzie-pootzies. I will tell ya'll this. If you have the old blogger set-up you are really in the dark ages, my friend. You must update soon.

It really does make changes so much more easy and fun.

I loved working with Jennisa and I know she loved working with me and my ADD self, not to mention my blog with a serious attitude problem. I am certain it was a joy.

Right Jennisa?

We spent the past few days celebrating with Jenn & Brian and the arrival of precious gift #5! Baby Carter is a beautiful little boy and we were able to spend time with them yesterday at the hospital. Jenn has already made the seamless transition to her growing family and is such a testimony of His grace and His desire to make us more like Him through serving our husband and our children with joy.

We have also been busy at church with the Don Whitney conference that was held Friday & Saturday evening and then again this morning. The title of the conference was:
Responding Biblically to the Increasing Pace and Complexity of Life.

A mouthful, huh?

Our pastor had lamented that he had hoped that this would not consist of a laundry list of things that caused more stress or overcommitments in our lives. I, on the other hand, was expecting a laundry list and since I live by one every day, I was certainly most comfortable with one.

Boy was I wrong.

Just like the books about parenting, marriage, or financial responsibilities ... when the book is truly biblically centered then the answer is Christ-centered as well.

I am pledging to share his thoughts and my notes with you this week as a way to further implant these truths into my heart. It was a blessing to Chris and I both and I would love to share that with others.

Seasons

I have yet to write about Hannah and her birthday. She has a post in her drafts and I love her sweet words so I think I will allow her to share the day.

We did celebrate in a special way and hoped to encourage her in this season of her life. So many people look at these years as tumultuous, full of strife and contention. I certainly viewed them this way when I was 14.

Of course the culture of being a "teenager" has not changed. Only the way I view the "culture".

Because sin does not play favorites except to favor the hearts of men, then we don't have to worry that our teenagers will fall victim to the pressure. Or at least we needn't worry more than we have since they were born. The pressure to be sinful has been present in their lives since the day they drew their first breath.

There. The groundwork has been laid for a much needed reminder. Because we exist to give glory to God we will find ourselves in seasons of want and the supply will not be given. Because it is during those seasons that our deficit becomes His resting place.

Our fleshly desire is to fill up that void ... especially if the desire is pleasant and justifiable. The problem begins when we compromise in order to soothe the ache.

Hannah is resting in a very quiet and solitary season. We have spent many nights seeking God and His provision for Godly friendship in her life.

He answers with grace alone.

Because she refuses to compromise, God is glorified.
Because she refuses to compromise, she suffers for His glory.

To be clear, she has many companions and her days are full of joy and laughter. What her heart desires is a friend who shares her convictions as well as her age and zip code ;) God has been more than gracious to give her contentment in her present circumstances.

Just because the ache is still present does not mean that contentment cannot coexist.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

-Philippians 4: 12-13

It is both a burden and a blessing to wait with her as God prepares her heart for friendship that is more than pleasantries. In the meantime I relish the opportunity to stand in the gap.

Happy Birthday Hannah! (again already?)

Apparently, while I have been busy trying to finish one measly post and spin the plates of life, my daughter has had the audacity to turn 14.

The nerve.

It has also become apparent that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

So in an effort to be a good sport, today we will celebrate ...

A celebration of 14 years of motherhood (me! Can you believe it! 14 years!).

A celebration of Hannah's 14 years of life, where she has grown into a precious young lady that has shown a genuine love for God and His Word. She has also grown into a size 8 1/2 shoe and can consume six donuts and/or an entire pizza at one sitting.

Enjoy your days of that mock-speed metabolism, sister. They are fleeting.

We have a special evening planned for Hannah that I will write about this weekend (it's a surprise!). Samuel was pretty sure that if the surprise did not include inflatable jump houses, it would be a real flop.

We'll see what Hannah says ;)

I started this journey of motherhood with a great deal of joy but an even greater level of fear. At each crossroads I have been graciously met by the Lord and given such an abundant provision of wisdom to make the right choices as her mother.

Often, I have neglected that provision and opted for my very own foolproof and much easier method of self-sufficiency ... AKA: I royally messed up.

And even then, I was met with another heaping dose of grace. If there is anything that 14 years has given me, it is the precious hindsight that comes with making daily history (this too shall pass) and also, the necessary reminder that I need a Savior. Being brought to my knees and lifting empty hands before God in desperation over my own sin and inadequacies as her momma

... Well, I can't think of a better reason to celebrate.

Happy Birthday Big Girl. I thought being made a mother 14 years ago was the greatest thing about your birth. Holding you as a new creation in our lives and holding our breath in awe of His workmanship still marks my memory in a fresh and vivid way.

But God was creating new life in more than one way. We have so many reasons to be grateful. I will always count your birth as the beginning of mine.

Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless
one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." -John 3:3

A Day of Victory?

National Sanctity of Human Life Day was January 15th (Thursday of last week). Most likely the last official Proclamation like this for quite some time.

He has surely made mistakes, but I will miss having a president who took a stand for the unwanted and unborn child.

It was seven years ago that President Bush made the Proclamation:

"Let us recognize the day with appropriate ceremonies in our homes and places of worship, rededicate ourselves to compassionate service on behalf of the weak and defenseless, and reaffirm our commitment to respect the life and dignity of every human being."

I have written some here and here about the gruesome and horrific truth of abortion. The absolute sin and hatred of God it represents and how we (including the "Christian" we) have not only turned our heads but also covered our eyes and ears to avoid looking at the atrocity.

Today, as our nation celebrates the Inauguration of our 44th President, I cannot help but to grieve.

Grieve for the unborn who will never waken to a day on this earth.

Grieve for our culture that is blind to its wicked ways and has given way to the sinful desires of idol worship ... and let us not forget ... our God is jealous.

Grieve for our nation that sees a victory in the election of our new President who has a proven disregard for human life.

While certainly there is victory in the promise of progress. The progress from a nation divided over slavery and hatred to one that has begun to heal and recognize the heinous consequences of it's actions. It is not lost on me that history is being written today.

But it comes with such a price.

The celebratory manner in which people have encircled this man is a reflection of what matters most to men ... and it seldom reflects obedience to God.

I do not see a victory in the election of this President. One who speaks hope and promise while silencing the cries of the unborn. One who has been relentless in his pursuit of more freedoms for the business of baby killing.

They are facts that don't bode well on this day of "victory".

But.

We need to be reminded ... again and again.

Benjamin was born at 38 weeks gestation ...
An age where babies can be legally aborted in this country.

Insight

My very best friend and sister in Christ has been walking a very lonely and dark path these last few months.

Her blog is on my sidebar but she has not updated there in a while. She has created another blog which is private due to the circumstances that she is going through and writing about.

To give you just a glimpse into her world and the history that shaped her life until now ...

• Tiff was married to her college sweetheart the same year that Chris and I married (1991).

• He graduated from seminary in 1994 to continue his career in the music ministry and they had their first child.

• We met in 1995 when our firstborn children were just months old. Together, we worked at our church's Mother's Day Out program. Her husband was on staff there.

• Their friendship, marriage, and testimony for Christ was the tangible example that God used in our life during His gracious revival in our hearts.

• Our second born children came in 1997, just months apart. We grew as mothers and wives. Money was tight and marriage was hard.

• In 1999, their third child was born and our family moved 1300+ miles away to Virginia. Hands-down the most difficult thing we had done (as a family). Within several months, they loaded up all three of their babies (one still nursing) and drove the 24+ hours it took to get here.

• They have done this several times and our vacations have almost always intersected so that we could see one another.

• He (her husband) left the ministry in 2000 and began a very lucrative and successful career in the real estate.

• They (their family) have always been active in the local church ... teaching ... singing ... leading bible study, etc.

• In 2007, they began homeschooling their children and moved to the country.

• Because of the impending divorce and the catastrophic financial situation, Tiff and her three children are living in a two-bedroom apartment. She is still homeschooling. She works nights as a waitress and prays that God provides for her needs ... financially ... physically ... emotionally ... and spiritually.

And He has. And He will.

Below I have copied her most recent post from her blog (with her permission). I have done this because I see so many in this situation. I want to cry out to these families as well! I have seen the devastation that divorce brings, having lived through it myself as a child. Watching this unfold all over again and in the most unlikely of homes has been breathtaking in the worst way.

Pray for this family. But also, take heed. There is wisdom in her insight ... and it came with a great price.

Sharing

I haven't wanted to get on here and type out my feelings because it just hurts too much to see what I am feeling, living, and experiencing in black and white....it makes it real and at the same time it does help me heal and get it out of my head and into a space that I can look back some day and see what I was thinking, feeling, and going through. It is a way to purge and come away clean and somewhat at more of an understanding of myself. Two of my closest friends have said to me in the last few days....why aren't you blogging? They KNOW me and they know that it either means I am really just busy, OR the more likely...I'm really in a yucky place and that's when I retreat into my hole, home, self....it is a lie that my enemy tells me and I forget some days and listen to the lie....Just shut up...go away...and then you will be able to withdraw from it all. I have had some days where I was being still before the LORD. REAL STILL....as if I had a back spasm and I couldn't move, or I would do more damage to my nerves...so I literally laid all most paralyzed, numb, not thinking...just praying and begging God please do a work, miracle, move please God...I believe You can if you just wanted to....

Many days though I just thought of all that I had, and all that I was losing. I can look back and see so many things that I should have, could have, would have done different if I only knew that this is for real how things were going to end up. Why does it take something this drastic in order for God to get my full attention? I will not pretend ever that I was a perfect wife and mom. I struggled with my own affairs in so many ways. I was at one time a lover of this world and the material things that money could afford and allow. I admit it...I got caught up in the image of having it all together...nails, hair, SUV, home, clothes...not so much for myself, but the names smeared across my own kids chest, vacations, stuff, stuff, and more stuff that made me LOOK like I was just doing it all right....POWER, POSITION...being KNOWN was important. I have never WANTED to be the one in charge, but often found myself ending up there. There was a sense of pride and feeling like I had a say in something. Getting OUR name out there to helpful to my husband's business and that was top priority for me. It also helped me feel important, needed, and useful for more than just being a housewife and mom. The power and position helped me have a say, and helped my kids get good teachers and be respected because I cared and was willing to show up and do. I have been accused of not being supportive...in fact the divorce decree states the reason for our divorce is insupportability! I tried to have it changed to adultery, but we couldn't come to an agreement on that in mediation...and I gave in hoping it would help appear that I was trying to give some in the negotiations....God knows the truth....friends and family know the truth....and he knows the truth.

Really I supported our lifestyle way too much, and didn't love my Lord daily enough. I now look back and see the straight up sin in my own life and choices, and am now living the consequences. No I am not saying that his affairs are MY fault, but there are so many things I might could have done differently that would have softly encouraged my husband to stay in the Word, and stay with us. I guess what I'm trying to say is...if you find yourself in a materialistic, selfish, self centered place in your life....please stop and consider the possible consequences of that sin. Too little, too late. I can look back now and see the signs were clear...well in my gut I knew...but satan can get me so absorbed into my own pain and pity that sends me to my bed. I literally sleep away, and hope that it will all just disappear and stop.

No more....I've gotta get it out, speak up, and share my heart. No matter how real, ugly, and beautiful I hope this can get or turn out. I know that God does have a plan for me tomorrow, and the next day, until he allows me to come home...I am every day going to get on here and let these letters on each key turn into my story that God is going to use to I hope save many marriages, many families, and many women from walking down this path that I am on at the moment. My prayer is that God will use something I do, or say, or share to stop someone in their tracks and look at their own hearts to see if they too are getting sucked into the lies of this world.

Faith
Family
Friends

Each of these are all that truly matters to me in each day. In each of these are multiple levels of things to be done and said....so that I can lay my head on my pillow at night and KNOW that He has used me to love and serve each one of them as well as He enables me. I am so blessed when I see the many fruits of each of these over the past six months. My heart is full and overflowing as I think of how my faith has grown in spite of the scary battle I have been fighting. My heart is full when I see my family stepping in...in so many ways and becoming more real and closer through these horrible times we ALL seem to be going through. My heart is overflowing when I see just how many friends God has blessed me and my kids with over the years...but even more now through this horrific journey we are on. I am hurting, humbled, and honored all at the same time because of what I have been allowed to experience.

Thank you for spurring me on...Encouraging...Loving...Speaking truth and wisdom and love into my life. I will forever be changed, and in this I AM rejoicing.

I was so done with the false life of putting on, producing myself, and keeping the fa-sod( facade) going! How exhausting, fake, and wrong it was of me. I want to encourage each person to stop, look at what they are doing...thinking...speaking....pretending in their own lives and see what and where God needs to step back in and take control before it is too late and satan has done his damage...not just here on earth, but eternally!

I served a family tonight that reminded me so much of myself...3 girls...one momma....overweight...wearing jeans, sweatshirt, tennis shoes, hair in a pony, no makeup...Dad on his I-phone and he was snappy, ordering for everyone, and somewhat in a hurry because he was gonna have to go back into work... Now lately it feels like every man I see is cheating, or overworking, or both....but I just got a real sick feeling in my gut that made me see how this whole thing will play out...possibly...bless their hearts! As he is texting...the mom and girls are just sitting there somewhat engaged with each other, but not really a family unit...coming together to sit eyeball to eyeball and share and laugh about each of their days. So many parents have become tuned to self via our technology and "COMMUNICATION" age.

Does it also seem odd to anyone else how now that we can communicate with so many via phone, text, email, blogging, facebook, cell that our families are breaking down more and more? I saw it happen first hand. My husband coming home on phone, plug in his lap top, I'm plugged into my computer, or tv and walla...you've got yourself a mess! Even driving down the road...where used to you could get away from it all...and we are both on our own phones...in our own conversations. So many affairs happening through texting...things can be shared, said, or flirting is made so much easier. I'm seriously in awe by the way that satan can take what should be meant for good and use it to pervert, tear up our families, and make us think we've gotta be plugged in at all times...reachable...even during church! Stop and think y'all...I have...just how much damage is being done when our own kids sit at the dinner table with their phones texting friends...not stopping to engage in family time...a rarity!

I wanted to take that momma by her shoulders...shake her ever so gently...and scream...sweet precious woman...wake up, work out, and walk back into this marriage and family and fight for all that you have to lose if you don't let God take control of YOU! Now yes I have to say and hope that her hubby was really going back to work to work...but y'all even work can be a mistress if you let it take over your family and marriage!

Well it is 3:00 in the morning...I had my power sleep of about an hour and a half and then woke up with the previous thoughts on my heart and knew that I had to get on here and get it out....don't know who this will be for...if just for myself...but I am praying that God will use my pain to keep someone else from having to go through it in their own life.

Love YOUR God...Love YOUR Family

by taking care of your walk and yourself!

Thankful ...

Sweets ...

Sweetness ...

Togetherness ...

Rest ...
His Perfect Provision ...

A Child's Heart ...
A Rich Heritage ...

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39

Idols

During this volatile time, it is easy to get caught up in the voracious cycle of bad news about our economy. I have no vegetable garden, fresh water supply, or milk goat to sustain our family, should we spiral into the abyss that some have predicted.

For goodness sakes, I don't even have the ingredients I need for my white chili that I plan on making this afternoon. It's a good thing the folks at Wal-Mart don't know there is a recession, cause they are still lining up in droves over there.

I am reminded during this time, that I still cling very much to the the stuff in this world. My house, my things, our savings, our freedom. Can we just love this one thing a little bit more than you, God?

There is this constant battle, where I go and remove this worldly stuff from the alter, and try once again to shift my focus to the ... one and only ... holy and jealous ... God of the universe.
He commands that we place nothing before Him.

No good thing is good enough. Even when it carries the label of "church".

Scripture is sufficient. All things that man does, including the preaching of Christ crucified, that are used to give glory to God, are still the result of God's sovereignty. Our methods are but the means to an end and often still marred by sin. We could never credit our way to bringing about His will.

So that means that when we do it right, God is given glory.
And when we do it wrong, God is given glory.

He will be glorified.

Now. That truth could never equate to an apathy for sharing the gospel or an indifference to living a life of radical obedience to Christ. John Piper says, "Our costly obedience is the fruit, not the root, of being forgiven."

I am trying to lay a foundation for some future posts, regarding a movement within the church today. At first glance, it appears to have right motives for encouraging family unity through worship and studying of the bible. Through the use of scripture, this method encourages families to worship together and "turning the hearts of father's to their families."

To be clear, I have not one single issue with my family worshipping together. Samuel has been in worship service with us since he was three years old and Benjamin has yet to spend a day in the nursery. Because we met in a school, we were able to bring his stroller in the cafeteria. His schedule was fairly predictable and so we kept him with us during Sunday School, and he would always fall fast asleep when service began. Snuggled up in his stroller, he was content for the following hour. Samuel sat between Chris and I and wrote on a note pad or flipped through his bible. We tried to be deliberate in teaching that this time was to worship God. It was a challenge in the beginning, but got easier as time went on. At previous churches, equipped with adequate nursery facilities, we made good use of the nursery and our children were loved and well-cared for. I am not boasting in either.

It worked for us. It was good for us. We enjoyed it and I would even say that we were blessed by it.

But not once have I ever subscribed to the belief that I was somehow honoring God *more* by this decision. I never believed that having my small children in worship was an integral part of God's plan for the family and that by keeping them with us, I was in greater obedience than my sister in Christ who chose to use the nursery for her little one.

This idea is not scriptural and is proving to be divisive in churches across the nation. The church we visited this past week is doing a series called, Worship Wars. The norm is expository preaching, but they are spending time addressing issues that are threatening to divide this body. Interestingly enough, entirely different issues than the ones I am addressing here.

The pastor, Rich Ryan, says this:

"Worship wars exist because Christians ignore the biblical teachings on corporate worship OR make personal preference equal to scriptural mandate".

Doing something a certain way because it floats your boat is perfectly fine. Just as long as you don't say that God loves it more.

I will do my best to address the core beliefs within this movement. I sincerely welcome comments and conversation as a means to grow and learn as long as our motive is to honor God through that.

Seasons Are Good

Again, with the what to say problem. Not usually much of a problem for me, but with things as they are, I am aware of what a weapon the tongue can be.

I could write about how church went yesterday. Mercy, what a prayerful bunch of friends we have. Can I tell you that we felt everyone single one of them? God was more than gracious in supplying our need to be loved while providing an atmosphere where He could be worshiped. Brian wrote a sweet little note about it here. Jenn shared a piece too.

I could write about my dear Emma. How the evenings are growing predictable with her. As I lean in, to give her a bedtime hug, she links both arms around my neck and pulls me tightly to her.

“Momma?”

“Yes, baby.”

… (tears) …

“Momma, when will it feel alright?”

… (more tears) …

“Not as quickly as we’d like, sugar.”

I remind her that it is alright. Cause God is right. His ways are right. Always right. I make her look me in the eyes and I promise her that it will feel that way. He never leaves us and He most certainly never leaves us the same.

I could write about the most glorious walk in the park that we took on Friday with Sophia and her children. I left my 5th child camera here at home and it was definitely an error in judgment. Thankfully, Sophia took some pictures for us. I may try to go back this week before the leaves are all gone. They have been so boastful about their beauty this fall.

Yes, Lea Ann. You may gloat now. Because this Texan does finally love the fall.

For many years, I have truly despised the fall. Even though I could appreciate it's beauty, it was always a bitter reminder that summer had come to an end. The rigid demands of school and schedule became dictator over our lives. Winter was coming and it would be harsh in comparison to those days spent in the balmy south, where it was not uncommon to wear shorts at Thanksgiving.

I hate coats. I hate gloves. I hate shoes.

Winter means I actually have to put on socks AND shoes, neither of which I considered necessary wardrobe components, before moving here.

But, beneath the surface, there was more going on than just a mere climate adjustment.

Autumn was full of memories that tore away at my heart. We moved to Virginia in the fall. It was so beautiful and I remember being awed by the tallness of the trees and even the simplistic view of a tree-lined pond was enough to make me pull over and take pictures. I sent letters back home with a lot of exclamation points and cutesy artwork.

But I was grieving in the worst way.

We had left our first church home, in Texas. That kind of love was new to me and I was so infatuated with it. Ya’ll, they genuinely loved us! Pure and simple. No strings attached. Not perfect by a country mile, but it was the closest thing to perfect I had ever come.

And I never wanted to leave.
But we did.

When we came here, I spent many Sunday mornings visiting local churches with the girls, while Chris had to work.

Oh joy.

Can I just tell you, that if a young woman (I was young then) ever visits your church with small children, I implore you to DROP. WHAT. YOU. ARE. DOING and help that young woman anyway you can.

Cause you never know. She might have just had her two-year old poop her panties on the way there, and her four-year old might have decided to unscrew her milk cup lid, and then she might have gotten lost on the way to church, even though it is only 3 miles from her house, because this isn’t her house, cause her house is 1300 miles away, and she doesn’t know where she is, and she can’t believe she is having to do this without her husband, and now people will think she is single or worse that her husband won’t go to church with her, so people are judging her before they even get to know her and just because her face is bright red, it is not because she is angry, it is because she is embarrassed that there is no where to sit and by the looks of the people’s faces they think she may sprout wings and fly. At any moment.

Sorry. I got lost in the moment there.

My point?

I love fall. God has restored that family of believers in my life in ways I could not have imagined.

He works through these seasons in my life. Even when I know that the winds have shifted and the leaves have changed. Cold days and gray skies are a promise, for sure. We cannot will our way around the wintertime. It will surely come to pass.

But God’s promises do not end with gray skies. He does a majestic and glorious thing when He ushers in the spring. Bringing forth a display of new life and growth that can only serve to give Him glory.

Our family will make use of this wintertime and be diligent in preparing for spring. Thank you all again for your prayers.

Point of Rocks Park