Friday, June 06, 2008

Cause my heart is full....

Things about this little baby boy that make my heart nearly burst...

  • When he is nursing and he is half cross-eyed, drifting off to sleep and looks up at my face and manages to smile the most blissful and content smile you've ever seen in your life....and milk runs down his chin.
  • His smell is intoxicating. Truly. The most heavenly smell on earth. I drink it in. I dare you to pick him up and not kiss his impossibly sweet smellin' head. Goodness gracious.

  • This baby loves to "coo" all the live-long day. He can make it sound like an angel's song and we are all captivated by his sweet noise!
  • I love coaxing him to slumber and watching him ball his fists and rub vigorously on his eyes trying to fight off sleep. He lays still for a fleeting moment only to writhe and stiffen again to the battle. Eventually he will relax his hands and then rest them on my shoulders. I can feel his entire body surrender and go limp on my chest. He starts to breath deeply in and then exhales into my ear.....what a peaceful place.
  • There are not words to express the gratitude for being the one who listens for his voice in the morning so that I can nourish him and hold his warm little body until he is sleepy and full and ready for rest again. Me. God, in his perfect wisdom and magnificent ways, has allowed me to care for this boy. I am humbled.

Dear Benjamin,

For so many years I labored over the decision of whether to have another baby. Why? I look at you and for the life of me, cannot figure out how we managed a happy thought before you graced us with the joy that is your smile. You make everyone in this home gush with baby-love! God took our family of five, that we had deemed complete, and considered it well and good to add your sweet soul to our lives. More than thankful, more than grateful, more than blessed....my heart is full.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end."

Ecclesiastes 3:11

5 comments:

Jenn said...

Sweet baby ... sweet family...

5honeybunns said...

You brought me to tears just reading that letter to Benjamin. Make sure he reads that when he is older.
Sophia

Kim said...

Awwww...this is so precious!!! What a blessed little baby boy!

Christina said...

My husband keeps asking me if seeing all my frineds (here in my hometown and in blogland) having babies makes me want to have more!

I would really love to hear more about your thoughts leading up to your decision. Having another child (and going through another pregnancy) is a scary thought for me right now. I think I'm in the place you were a few years ago. What would you have said to yourself back then?

If it's not something you want to blog on, Jenn has my email.

4kids&luvit said...

I finally did a blog post on homeschool stuff! Sorry it took so long!