Saturday, June 12, 2010

Locks of Love

Emma decided last fall to grow her hair out for Locks of Love and after her dance recital in May she did just that!

I had become quite fond of it.

She, however, had no attachment whatsoever.

I might have started feeling sick at this point.


I think she likes watching me sweat.

She has the most amazing, silky, soft hair.
Hair to die for.
Hair to kill for.
Hair to grow to your rear-end while singing, "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue?"

I think Crystal had some nice hair, ya'll.

But now someone else has Emma's amazing, silky, soft hair.
And that makes my blue eyes fill up with tears.

My sweet mother was my age when she did not have a single hair on her head, fighting for her life. I remember shaving it myself in the hospital ... leaving long bangs in the front and nothing in the back just so we could laugh about it to keep from crying.

Then cutting the bangs and crying ... but not about her hair.
We cried a lot those days.

Oh, my heart seldom visits those moments because they elicit such a dark and sad feeling in my soul and a place that even seems like may be deeper than my soul because it doesn't even feel like part of me ... like it is so lonely and hollow that I can't even attach myself to it because it makes my chest hurt and I can't breathe.

Still, after 18 years.

But what brings me back is the miraculous work of God, who even then, knew this precious child with a head full of raven silk ... and He knew what solace she would bring to one of these dark moments.

Only God can marry moments like these and paint a picture like this ...

Emma plans on growing her hair out at the end of summer
and donating again next year :)

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Jenn said...

love her ... and you...

Anonymous said...

I ache at the loss of a women I never knew because I love her daughter so much. Thank you for your words, those written and spoken. LaLa

Lottie said...

I agree Crystal did have some good hair... ahhh... Oh yeah I'm writing here...Sorry! :0)
Locks of Love is an amazing organization!It takes 10 or more "ponies" to make one wig! We had our own pony drive a few years ago. Thanks for sharing tender special moments! Love you & hope to hang out with you SOON! xoxo