Friday, January 16, 2009

In Pursuit of Me Time

Me Time (aka: Facebook)

This is a thought provoking read and one that I agree with but I don't always embrace.

The exasperation that comes at the end of a long day when I simultaneously sigh and think aloud, "Don't I deserve just a little time to myself???"
often reveals more about the state of my heart than anything else.

HT: Smockity Frocks


Lisa said...

I like the part that says "your needs are not as big as you perceive them to be". Yes, so true.

I have a book by Max Lucado "Its Not About Me". I keep it on my nightstand to read on days when I'm feeling like I didn't get the ME time I'm entitled to. Very helpful!

Anonymous said...

Again, I can quote one of my favorite lines, "Deservin's got nothing to do with it."
Having said that, my next thought is that time alone is a needed and necessary thing. Christ knew this, and set the example on his knees, with the Father.

Amanda said...

I read it and I must say I think it's harsh. I just feel like many moms are in the blogging world acting as if they are the authority on many "mom" subjects. I am guilty of the same on my blog. I just feel that women in the blogging world are going to the extremes with their opionions and we need to be careful and held accountable to the things we put out there.

I get on facebook (probably too much. My handy little blackberry has probably caused an addiction. I don't think I have ever said, "I deserve this time for myself." I don't think about it.

Alone time and date nights, well there is NOTHING wrong with feeling you deserve that. Of course there are moms who take it to an extreme but I can't imagine how a brand new mom of a brand new baby would feel after reading a post like that.

I'm not sure if women are on the same team anymore. Instead of supporting one another and encouraging one another, we get on our soap box and let other women have it based on our own convictions. And THAT is something I've really been convicted of lately.

You can't FORCE people to have your view and just because they don't share that view does not make them wrong.

Women see to be losing their "team spirit". We have so many opinions but we don't love.

Lisa writes... said...

Thanks for the link. I wrote a long-ish comment but never posted it. Guess I'm a wimp. I too see the danger of the over pursuit of "me time." At least for me...

Kim said...

To be clear ...

I love facebook and I love "me-time". I don't think there is a single solitary thing wrong with finding enjoyment in date nights or time away with friends.

My heart issue is where entitlement factors in. The feeling that I deserve anything other than justice. I have a house full of healthy children but I don't deserve them anymore than I deserve the long hot bath that I take every.single.solitary.night ;)

I hope that link or my comment with it did not reflect judgment. It served as a reminder to me (one that I needed) and I hoped to pass it on as encouragement.


Smockity Frocks said...

I think you are right that the problem lies with what we feel we "deserve" or "NEED".

I fall into it, too, but I try to give myself a good shake and snap out of it. Look at women in third world countries, Pioneer women, Pilgim mothers, the Israelite mothers wandering in the wilderness. If they stopped to whine about their circumstances, which were far harder than any of us can claim, they would never have made it through.

I don't think Cindy (or you or I) was trying to be harsh or judgmental, just cautionary.

Jenn said...

Yes, the key is in the feeling of entitlement and expectations. Often when expectations go unmet, that leads to a selfish and sinful response. To experience some 'me time' is definitely a blessing and unexpected grace but am I entitled to it? The example of Christ serving selflessly, expecting nothing in return ... that's what we have to focus on.

Amanda said...

All of you are exactly right! I agree with you. I just feel that it comes from a "seasoned" perspective and I guess it just depends on who you are trying to reach and who you are trying to get the message out to? I think that you Kim explain it in a way that does not seem harsh. Maybe my word "harsh" was my first gut reaction so I apologize for that. I am just trying to think about those women who are at home dealing with post partum depression, have a new born who is colic, a non supportive husband, etc. and does not have a mature relationship with Christ. I think that we can often narrow our sphere of influence when we come at things so black and white. I don't think ANY Mom sits around and says, "I'm getting on facebook because I am entitled to it and I deserve it because I'm at home all day with kids and I never get a break."

Also there are many mothers out there who DO NOT put their spouse first and their kids come before eveything and that is not healthy either.

I don't agree with the delivery of the message. That's all. I truly believe that if women worked hard at showing kindness and acceptance towards one another instead of finding one more thing that needs to change, it would really help lift the burdens of so many hurting women.

Women are defeated (many of them) and they need to be helped in setting themselves up for success. It takes baby steps. The lifie of mothering is amazing but it is also hard. Sometimes I feel like the Bible is used as a sword to hurt people not protect them.

We will all mess up. We are NOT Jesus and as much as we need to do everything we can to be more like him, we will always fail. I just feel that this has the potential of making some moms feel pretty crappy about themselves.

I have not had a date night in a LONG time. No family around, etc. I do get time alone to run. I homeschool and I have no idea what it is like to drop a kid off at school and have some alone time. I know Mothers who say to me, "You are crazy! How can you do this and never get a break?" Well, it's all I know. I don't know what it's like to NOT have them around me 24/7. But I have to look at it from their perspective and understand that we are ALL on the same team and need to get better at pointing out the things that women are doing RIGHT, not wrong.

Feel free to delete my rant! :)

Anonymous said...

Jesus said take up your cross and follow me. I don't recall anything about "me time" unless you count the time he spend in prayer and fasting. I also don't I recall him stopping along the way and saying "Hey, I deserve a break someone else carry this thing for awhile!" A break, a date night, a hot bath etc... all these things are wonderful blessings. If we start looking at them as "gifts" or "blessings" instead of entitlements then when we don't get them maybe we won't be so disappointed.

What we deserve judgement and hell but we have a mercyful God that has saved us from that. What more could we ask for?

I would rather be warned with a biblical reproof then fall into the self worship trap of the world. I appreciate your words of encouragement Kim! Keep up the good work!