Fishing with Jabber-Jaws

Dad got a boat. It is a bass boat which basically means it looks like a floating pier so that the angler can maneuver himself with ease on the deck. It also means that small children are more than guaranteed to take a swim.

It didn't happen.

But.

It's gonna happen.

He (the angler) took the kids to the lake yesterday afternoon. The weather was perfect for luring a large-mouth bass.

But.

He took Emma & Samuel. I always giggle on the inside when the angler thinks he might "fish" with Samuel keeping him company.

That is some crazy thinkin' right there.

Instead, he was able to suffer from brain implosion appreciate what I deal with on a daily basis, which is.....

The Chatter.

The non-stop, endless, relentless, never-ending stream of noise that comes from our son.

Non-stop.

He says things like...

"Otay guys. I hate to tell you dis...but you in the bottom three."
"Otay. Dat guy who says dat other guy is voted off I don't like dat guy he not a nice guy he says Jackezie is not a good singer but him is a good singer and I like Jackezie and want him to sing on American Idol cause him is a good singer and he sings I JACKEZIE BABY I BELIEVE."

One breath and in the span of 4.2 seconds with no commas or periods.

and this...

"Otay, here's da deal. It's like dis. You say Speed Racer is not a good movie but it is a good movie and I LOVE dat movie and I don't know why you say it is not a good movie cause the Speed Racer game is a good game and i want to play dat game on the compooter and you say that it can't work on the compooter so den I want to buy dat game at Target and I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, you say don't say dat again about to buy dat game at Target but please, please, please I can buy dat game......Mom?"

Here is where the brain implodes.

Here are pictures of "Jaws" in action.











Better luck next time Dad.