Monday, April 16, 2007

Bowling is the armpit of somethin'...that's fursure

Hey! The bowling alley is fun! We were reminded of that last Wednesday when we checked off Emma's pick for our Spring Break "To-Do's". The bowling alley is also filled with smokers.....therefore, filled with smoke. The armpit is the stinkiest place on the body and the bowling alley is the stinkiest place on earth. That is my assessment. Take it or leave it.

O.K., maybe that is a slight exaggeration but shoo-wee. You hear me? SHOO-WEE smokers! Cigarettes stink! They stink to the high heavens! I want to bring some poopy diapers to the bowling alley and open them up on all the surrounding tables. Not to punish you. No. I am not like that. I only want to drown out the smell of SMOKE!

O.K., enough fussin'. Here's the fun. We had fun. It was short (and smokey) but everybody had a great time. In honor of each person's achievement, I have given awards to each of my family members. The awards go to...

Hannah for Best Form-

The girl is graceful. She walks carefully up to the line as if the sport of bowling begins when you choose the ball and saunter up to the line like a southern belle. That long lanky right leg then sliiiides behind her left and she gently releases her ball. No strikes? No problem. She looks good. That's what counts.

Samuel for Most Unique Form-

What's all this one handed business about? Sam is sure that two hands are far better and with a squat and a thrust and loud grunt the ball is gone. It is gone. It might not be traveling fast. It might not even "look" like it's traveling at all. But it is. Just really, really, really, really slow.

Samuel's ball for the S-l-o-w-e-s-t.....M-o-v-i-n-g.....B-a-l-l.....E-v-e-r....

and it's still rolling...

Emma for the Cheeriest "This Was My Idea" Happy Disposition-

OH little pickle! You did have a great idea! She said that about 487 times while we were there :) "Isn't this a great idea, mom?" She bowled well but that was totally beside the point. The point was....this was fun and she thought of it.

I agree.

Chris for the Most Intense include numerous strikes accomplished with his patented rolling/throwing/hurling motion followed by the heaviest ball in the joint. One way or the other, somethin' was going down. It was either pins....or the drywall.

Chris is good at bowling. He is great at basketball and baseball and he is good at shooting pool, throwing darts, shooting skeet, throwing and catching footballs, kicking soccer balls, jumping, skipping rope, flying kites, tennis, racquetball, boat rowing, swimming, badminton, ping-pong, horseshoes, and BOWLING. He is good at bowling. It is not fair. As a matter of fact, it is just plain wrong for someone who DOESN'T bowl to bowl three strikes in a row and then pick up spares till the cows come home. He is just good at sporting stuff. Well, good for him. But his form stinks. So there.

My last award goes to all the smokers in the *alley* that afternoon. Smokers at the bowling alley get the award for....

Best attempt at Making A Cigarette Look Like Incense Award!
We were a group of 5 people and there were probably only 15 people in the whole place. Two or three were manning the counter while the other 8 were positioned next to us. Have I ever told you in one of my 100 posts that I abhor, hate, despise, and hate cigarette smoke? Oh have mercy, I would prefer the smell of....well just about anything. Especially since the smell of just about anything else doesn't cause a deadly disease for which there is no cure. I grew up in a house of smokers and I know the dreadful addiction that is caused from nicotine. Still, why let the stick-o-death just sit in the ashtray and burn? and burn? and burn? Isn't that a waste of money? And clean air?

That's my only complaint. Next time, we will head to an alley that is a little bit further up the road, but has a "no smoking" policy on Saturdays and that way we can stay longer...and that way Sam can perfect his squatting stance. Emma can perfect her cheesy grin. Hannah can perfect her arabesque form. Dad can perfect his cannon-ball blast. And I can get some nachos. Because that didn't happen. And it should have.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

They have just now not only outlawed smoking inside of public places around here, but now also outlawed smoking outside of stores and other public places up to like I think 50 feet! I LOVE THAT!!!! Man don't get me started on the smoking! I can stare down any ole nasty smoker!!!