Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Three things you need to know...

Steak Taquito

This is a steak taquito from Taco Bell. It is quite good and comes with one of three dipping sauces. You may not find this useful, but for a girl with $3.00 and an empty belly I found it delightful.


This is Jenn. Not really Jenn, but the expression that Jenn is probably making right now. Jenn is many months pregnant and is *having a kidney stone* as she puts it. Let's pray for Jenn and if you live nearby, let's bring her vanilla icing (no spoon necessary).

Finger Splint

This is a finger splint. It is really a wonderful contraption to use when you leave your finger in the door jam after you have forcefully tried to slam the door (the big- metal- heavy- front door) and the finger prevented that from happening. My finger has undergone some color and size changes over the last 24 hours and just let me tell you this. Never scoff at someone who has slammed their finger in the is searing, nauseating, breathtaking pain. SV, if you are reading this all I can say is.....I have come so close to feeling your pain and HAVE MERCY! I gripped my lame hand with my left hand and in those 4-5 seconds following the "event" when I was screaming HELP ME CHRIS, HELP ME GOD, HELP ME CHRIS, OH HAVE MERCY, OH HAVE MERCY, OH HAVE MERCY there were about 14,000 thoughts that rambled through my brain in the way that mother's do best..... O.K., find the finger, put it on ice, call DT to come and get Samuel and Hannah, Emma is at gymnastics, she will need to go home with a friend, will they spend the night with someone while I spend hours having my mutated finger put back together, what about tomorrow, who will drive for preschool, oh we need to pick up the Volkswagen from the shop, who will write the kids their notes for their lunchbox....(be sure to read this really fast so that it doesn't make any sense, because that is exactly the way these notions blasted through my peanut brain)

Enter --Husband who is nothing if not "chilled out" so just his presence alone brings an immediate calmness to my ever so freaked-out mind. Well it was his presence and him saying, "calm down" in a way that I sort of felt like an 8-year old kid.

O.K., so I look down ready to behold my mangled appendage and I'll be darn if the thing wasn't still there just throbbin' away! (with a fair amount of blood mind you) O.K., (first breath so far) I am calming down but still making more racket than I did during childbirth. Kinda like moans coupled with WHAT DO I DOOO, WHAT DO I DOOO, WHAT DO I DOOOO? (again said very fast, very incoherent, kinda like a coyote)

Enter--Hannah.....child of mine who has inherited my uncanny ability to remain calm and so she begins to scream hysterically, OH MOMMA, OH MOMMA, OH NO, OH NO, OH NOOO MOMMA, MOMMA, MOMMAAAA!

O.K. times up. Whistle has been blown. Flag has been thrown. This little episode of mom's hysteria comes to an abrupt end. Man, can't a woman flip out anymore? Nope, not once she has kids. Even if she chops her ring finger off, she better stay calm for the kids sake. Agghhh, the sacrifices never end. I say to Chris through clenched teeth....get that child out of here right now....she is making things worse!

So as I begin to realize that the finger is going to remain united with my hand and Hannah clears my space because two hysterical females = one male ready to fly the coop and I certainly need him to stay around, the adrenaline finally starts to clear the air. As we clean up and I call Hannah downstairs to smooth her feathers and reassure her that I am fine and remind her that momma's freak out too, I remember Samuel. Oh little Sam! Where is he? Oh bless his heart, he's probably hiding in a dark closet somewhere, stroking his little bear and crying in fear over his mother's suffering.

"Sam.....Samuel where are you?" From about 10 feet away in the living room, lying on his belly, he calls out...."I right here... I laying right here.... (exasperated sigh) I just watching Peter Pan." (insinuated-duh)

Thanks buddy.

Hannah's advice when it was all over was two-fold. First....."Mom, you know Jesus knew this was going to happen all along." Thank you God for teaching Hannah about your sovereignty, even during my times of extreme pain. Next time, can you grant her with divine peace so that she doesn't flip her wig?

Second....."Mom, don't you think we should take a picture for your blog?" Now that right there, makes a bloggin' momma proud.


Anonymous said...

OH MOMMA! I'm so sorry!

Jenn said...

Maybe I should bring you dinner?

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh!!!!! I'm tryin' so hard not to laugh too loud~ not to make you feel bad, but because the baby is sleeping here really too funny...I seriously just felt like I was there feeling everyone's pain! And precious little man Sam wasn't fazed in the least!

I'm so sorry though that you had this horrible painful experience, but it does make for some good bloggin'! I like the way Hannah is thinking!

Love you and appreciate you speaking over me yesterday! God is so good and I'll be back from the twilight zone to the real world soon let's hope!!!!

Love you sister,


Kim said...

Oh...My...I'm sorry about your finger! Ouch!

Love the new look...I posted a comment below! It is just gorgeous!


Jill B said...

I can so relate to this story. I had a similar experience this fall with a knife and an avocado pit and the palm of my hand. Not a pretty picture.
Hope your finger heals quickly as we all know a momma who is out of commission is hard for the rest of the family.
jill from omaha

Charles said...

Oh Momma noth' least she still has her finger!

(of course you had to know that was coming from me, hehe)

Kim said...

Thank you all for your compassion. Especially you *nubby*, I mean..Charles.

Found out today that it is infected & fractured, but it is still mine and for that....I am thankful :)

Come on Jill, you have a profile! Let's get that page up :)

Shane said...

I found your blog at Blue Bird blogs. She did mine too. I really enjoyed looking around. You are quite the funny woman. I'll be back. Take care.

Kelly said...

My sister got the worst "whipping" as we called it in my youth,after slamming my finger in the car door. Ouch! Hope you are feeling better!

Cyndi said...

Okay, THAT was descriptive. Oh, MAN. I kept reminding myself, "She typed this, so it must turn out okay..." LOL I was reading fast, to find out, though. So I did read it like you probably thought it. :)

I'm so sorry this happened! Ouch, indeed. Get some rest this weekend!

annie said...

I have had two experiences like that... calming down immediately for the kid's sake... it's hard sometimes being the mom huh? Sorry about your finger, I felt your pain reading your post and could relate completely to the fast rambling thoughts :o)
I wondered if those steak taquitos were any good? My daughter loves taco bell and I stay away! So, maybe if I could find something edible we could compromise.
ps Love your blog template. Susie does such a good job, I ordered one too and am on 'the list.'

Anonymous said...

Take good care of it girl....don't want you to get staph! Love you~