This is a steak taquito from Taco Bell. It is quite good and comes with one of three dipping sauces. You may not find this useful, but for a girl with $3.00 and an empty belly I found it delightful.
This is Jenn. Not really Jenn, but the expression that Jenn is probably making right now. Jenn is many months pregnant and is *having a kidney stone* as she puts it. Let's pray for Jenn and if you live nearby, let's bring her vanilla icing (no spoon necessary).
This is a finger splint. It is really a wonderful contraption to use when you leave your finger in the door jam after you have forcefully tried to slam the door (the big- metal- heavy- front door) and the finger prevented that from happening. My finger has undergone some color and size changes over the last 24 hours and just let me tell you this. Never scoff at someone who has slammed their finger in the door....it is searing, nauseating, breathtaking pain. SV, if you are reading this all I can say is.....I have come so close to feeling your pain and HAVE MERCY! I gripped my lame hand with my left hand and in those 4-5 seconds following the "event" when I was screaming HELP ME CHRIS, HELP ME GOD, HELP ME CHRIS, OH HAVE MERCY, OH HAVE MERCY, OH HAVE MERCY there were about 14,000 thoughts that rambled through my brain in the way that mother's do best..... O.K., find the finger, put it on ice, call DT to come and get Samuel and Hannah, Emma is at gymnastics, she will need to go home with a friend, will they spend the night with someone while I spend hours having my mutated finger put back together, what about tomorrow, who will drive for preschool, oh we need to pick up the Volkswagen from the shop, who will write the kids their notes for their lunchbox....(be sure to read this really fast so that it doesn't make any sense, because that is exactly the way these notions blasted through my peanut brain)
Enter --Husband who is nothing if not "chilled out" so just his presence alone brings an immediate calmness to my ever so freaked-out mind. Well it was his presence and him saying, "calm down" in a way that I sort of felt like an 8-year old kid.
O.K., so I look down ready to behold my mangled appendage and I'll be darn if the thing wasn't still there just throbbin' away! (with a fair amount of blood mind you) O.K., (first breath so far) I am calming down but still making more racket than I did during childbirth. Kinda like moans coupled with WHAT DO I DOOO, WHAT DO I DOOO, WHAT DO I DOOOO? (again said very fast, very incoherent, kinda like a coyote)
Enter--Hannah.....child of mine who has inherited my uncanny ability to remain calm and so she begins to scream hysterically, OH MOMMA, OH MOMMA, OH NO, OH NO, OH NOOO MOMMA, MOMMA, MOMMAAAA!
O.K. times up. Whistle has been blown. Flag has been thrown. This little episode of mom's hysteria comes to an abrupt end. Man, can't a woman flip out anymore? Nope, not once she has kids. Even if she chops her ring finger off, she better stay calm for the kids sake. Agghhh, the sacrifices never end. I say to Chris through clenched teeth....get that child out of here right now....she is making things worse!
So as I begin to realize that the finger is going to remain united with my hand and Hannah clears my space because two hysterical females = one male ready to fly the coop and I certainly need him to stay around, the adrenaline finally starts to clear the air. As we clean up and I call Hannah downstairs to smooth her feathers and reassure her that I am fine and remind her that momma's freak out too, I remember Samuel. Oh little Sam! Where is he? Oh bless his heart, he's probably hiding in a dark closet somewhere, stroking his little bear and crying in fear over his mother's suffering.
"Sam.....Samuel where are you?" From about 10 feet away in the living room, lying on his belly, he calls out...."I right here... I laying right here.... (exasperated sigh) I just watching Peter Pan." (insinuated-duh)
Hannah's advice when it was all over was two-fold. First....."Mom, you know Jesus knew this was going to happen all along." Thank you God for teaching Hannah about your sovereignty, even during my times of extreme pain. Next time, can you grant her with divine peace so that she doesn't flip her wig?
Second....."Mom, don't you think we should take a picture for your blog?" Now that right there, makes a bloggin' momma proud.